HJAR Sep/Oct 2024

HEALTHCARE JOURNAL OF ARKANSAS I  SEP / OCT 2024 9 EDITOR’S DESK THAT 1 IN 4 RAPE STAT We’re often told stories and fairy tales to preserve our innocence. In a way, we live in layers of bubbles, each protecting us from harsh truths until one inevitably bursts. An innocence bubble popped for me recently when I learned a shocking CDC statistic: 1 in 4 U.S. women has been raped or is the victim of attempted rape. This statistic has profoundly changed me. I looked it up after an elderly woman in her 80s shared her story with me. She confided that she had been raped many times, some instances by men she was in relationships with. Sometimes, she felt she had been drugged; a few times, a gun was held to her head. I was uncharacteristically silent as she shared things I had never heard spoken in real life by someone I knew. Because my bubble had not yet burst, I had the audacity to later ask her sister, “Why didn’t she just leave?” Her sister replied, “She had nowhere to go. Times were different back then. You couldn’t just leave a husband, and each man who promised to rescue her was just as bad or worse than the other.” I was startled. My generation of women did not grow up without women’s shelters or the ability to open a bank account if you were married and trying to escape. I smugly thought we had progressed as a society — until I heard that CDC stat. The summer between my 8th and 9th grade, I had a girlfriend who lived in my neighborhood. One day, as I walked home from her house, a group of older boys I didn’t know called out to me, “I wish I had some fries with that shake.” It took me a moment to figure out what they were saying. I had never been talked to like that before, and I didn’t want their attention. I remember trying to walk as straight and quickly as I could, hoping I wasn’t being followed. The next week, my girlfriend called and wanted to meet. She was different — the light in her eyes had changed. She told me she had been raped by those boys but asked me not to tell anyone. I didn’t know what to do. They had done something horrible to my friend, and I felt she needed help. I decided to call her mother and tell her. At the time, I still lived in the bubble, and I couldn’t imagine not wanting my mother’s help or support if that happened to me. Her mother listened, asked a few questions, and hurried off the phone. When she called back, she was very upset. She told me she had spoken to her daughter and that I was lying — that I shouldn’t spread lies like that — and that I could no longer see my friend. I was stunned. Our family moved that summer, and I don’t know what happened to my friend. I honored her mother’s request until today because there is no shame in what happened to her. By staying silent, I now realize we may have exposed other girls in that neighborhood to similar attacks. She was shamed, and they walked free. Since the rape bubble popped, I’ve started asking groups of women I know if they are aware of the CDC stat. Yes, I’m loads of fun at a party. I can tell you that the 1 in 4 number holds true. You can see it in their eyes, in the way they shift. I’m almost sorry I bring it up. But when I tell them I’m going to write about it in the journals, they actually thank me. Their light returns, and they somehow feel counted and respected by the thought of this. Early on, after learning this horrifying truth and not knowing exactly what to do with my pen/sword, I asked sexual assault experts why rapes aren’t more publicized. Why aren’t they on the front page of every newspaper and the lead of every newscast? “Is it because they think reporting on it will just encourage more assaults?” I wondered if that’s why I wasn’t aware of the stat, even after covering healthcare for so long. We didn’t want to highlight the stat if it would cause more rapes. I was told, “No, just the opposite.” And they thanked me for having the courage to use the Journal to communicate this silent atrocity that happens so frequently. As a provider, know that a quarter of your female patients have experienced this awful trauma, as have many of your male patients. This journal contains a feature with one of those experts and resources for you and your patients. As a community, let’s stop protecting rapists and stop the victim shaming. Dianne Marie Normand Hartley Chief Editor editor@healthcarejournalar.com